morningness...

i awoke at 4:45 this morning...i always wonder if there is some element happening some place else in the world i need to be aware of...so i started sifting through people, crises, the need for peace - all things of the things that might wake you up at the crack of dawn...

so i wrote a haiku about coffee...then i wrote a cover letter to a PNC for some church in colorado...then i wondered what it would be like to live in peru for three years...all of these things combined made me sleepy again - only to go back to bed and have those tremendous nightmares that happen somewhere in between being awake and trying to get some more sleep...

if you try to describe these dreams - they are always broken and distorted in real time language...only the time of your dreams make sense...kind of like LOST...(by the way, i am so mad they won't air again until 2009)...

unknown babies cared for by my grandmother, drowning kittens, broken down and taken over jeep by some kids at a random place in wyoming, me scratching a girls face to find out who they were - then a pleading and verbal retort that woke me up - "i just want to go home..."

i've discovered home is right where you are...granted i have had to struggle to figure out a forwarding address for the future...but besides the postal system - i don't have any real need to "hang my hat..." i find this both odd and yet confirmation-al that i resound and thrive in the nomadic life...new places, new people, new food, new atmosphere, new everything...except my being...it is the same - which makes all the newness "home"...

also annie dillard uses words i have to look up...she used a priori a word i learned last year...which may have triggered my desire to put this all together in language...

i don't know anything about tomorrow...not even about the rest of today...above running and playing the guitar, i only know i am going to enjoy sunshine...like john denver - it makes me high...

so maybe the sunshine woke me up wanting to get me high...maybe the dreams have some meaning for real time...maybe i just couldn't wait to dive into the new yirgacheff...who knows...

satisfy
me
lord

with
your
love
in
this
morning

i
will
live
with
praise

...