deflated

in my obsessive need for accuracy, today i found my thoughts of the future adjusting dramatically...as i actually sat down with the "lexicon" and started the passage from isaiah, i realized that i might not ever reach my personal goal of being the hottest hebrew teacher ever...bummer...i must now consider if there is more to life...help...

today i had the chance to serve my fellow 'mates' the bread of life...i usually wake up to my nightmares of spelling something wrong, or worrying that i left out an entire line of the national anthem as i was singing it for an event- or as today, in my keen reflection of it- i think i said "_____ (your name) the body of christ, shed for you"...and wouldn't you know that i served half the professors of the seminary...i wonder if the spirit muted their ears to my stupidity? i wonder if my mind is playing tricks on me? please let it be a very bad nightmare...it's like when my mother's brother (a fellow minister) said loudly, and proudly on easter morning, "let's all stand and sing as we celebrate christ's errection"...could you make it through the rest of the morning? no way...no way...

and for those of you who received a large portion of jesus today- please know it is part of my theology regarding the table...for as long as it took you to chew and actually eat, those few moments were meant for you to "taste and see that the Lord is good"...