this way...

there is a place- i sense- in which we all find this particular spot on the well travelled road of life...it is the crossroads of fear and hope...they are intersected with two signs...one sign says, "despair this way"...the other says, "unknown but worth risking"...this is an intersection we find ourselves in when our ability to control all circumstances reveals itself as futile and undoable...

fear is almost a person sometimes...we have conversations with her over coffee... or while our heads are on the pillow, wet with tears...she even shows up in the mirror sometimes...for me, i find myself in the most ludicrous conversations with her when i see the reality of suffering at hand...

when the force- whether circumstances, etc- sets us down in the middle of the road, i wonder how many others find themselves chased down the road with the sign pointing to despair...too many things are chasing me there lately...and i wonder what brings me back to the fork so that i can go the unknown route instead...for the unknown doesn't travel down the despair road with me- does it? but the despair seems to accompany me down the road of the unknown...even in this, the hope of worth risking the unknown fosters wide eyes...it even deafens the conversation with fear...most of the time...

in a world where systems are powerful, the road to despair is crowded...it even seems natural to easily meander along with others who find no reason to risk anymore...even more natural to wonder at the overpopulation on this road...no wonder people want to hurt other people...from a lash of the tongue to the taking of another's life...how did all of these people land on this road?

this week has been spent thinking on the power of systems...i am burdened at what they are doing...from the huge corporations to the government to the church...they all have one thing in common- humanity...what is worth risking for humanity? i know the right answer...it's everything...but it seems impossible...at least today...