eyes on the prize...

as i was running this morning, i looked up and saw the red light for "allison" in the far distance...this light is the end of my running trail...it is within my sight and i think - i see it - but if i only run toward it (to finish and finally quit sweating) - how many steps will have been taken that i didn't even notice? or even enjoy? if my whole being just wants to get to the end - what do i miss in the mean time?

this summer has been a fantastic time of contemplation...merton daily accompanies me and pleads with me to quit looking even to the evening of the same day...the expansiveness of each moment - there is this rich excitement that evolves when you quit ticking off the hours and start looking to moments for reflection...

there are all kinds of philosophies that accompany this...greenway tried to tell me that the more i want time - the more it becomes unattainable...the less i want more time - the more i get...it's a strange paradox...the problem is - i don't think a lot of people even want or don't' want time...millions of expansive moments are lost as we sit greedily gazing into the future...whether it be the night or the longing for eternity to hurry up and get here...which is funny in itself because for some reason, i am convinced we are presently in eternity...

this reminds me of i heart huckabees when the existential detectives were on the front porch of the open spaces office and they are arguing about who either doesn't or does have time for infinity...i agree with dustin hoffman - who doesn't have time for infinity?

as the church sits greedily glaring and waiting upon eternity to hurry up and get here, millions of expansive moments are being lost...the moments are spent in wars over who is in and who is out...from dehumanizing the oppressed or the petty struggle for power - expansive moments of life are wasted on what we think will be prominent when it finally gets here - the whole eternity thing...

expansive moments allow us to befriend, love, be hospitable - treasure all that is surrounding us...i'm not saying it's the magic elixir that cures everything...but i do think many kingdom-ish things could and do happen in the midst of expansive moments...

i am not sure yet how this works in systems...how can a system enjoy and operate in expansive moments? i know it is a practice...i know it is a part of being...if i could have one wish today, it would be that the prize we think is so far away would be revealed through an expansive moment...so as we greedily gaze for the "future" prize - we instead see that it is really already here...