lost...

i received another email today that confirmed my unmatchness for a particular church...i never quite know what to think...usually, ego hurts a little only because it's convinced it could have done exactly what they needed...then reason tries to calm the senses and precedes to give that crappy one line advice that goes in one ear and out the other...during reasons' quick stay experience comes along to remind you this is not the first time this has happened...

if this expansive moment can be enjoyed - it's only because i'm not frightened...now, i did think i could handle this particular parish...but i guess between them and the spirit - i was wrong...which does a number to the ego...

i have absolutely no idea what is next...and i am trying to enjoy it...