humbly walking...

for a few weeks now, i have been on and off the net due to the limited amount of wifi ability available at my beloved mothers house...

i opened my email today to be surprised by the inbox message from the mission service recruitment people...i had written this option off about a month ago due to silence...it's funny, this entire summer i spent thinking about why i feel called to go overseas...in some senses, it has always been in my life...

about a month ago i decided that maybe i was wrong...this weird desire to do what hardly anyone else wants to do was just an artificial fascination...a misunderstood longing...and i decided that if they don't think i'm it - i have to trust the discernment of others regarding my future call...even if i disagree...

so today i have this dialect of optimism intertwined with hesitation...churches are looking at my stuff today...new contacts have come up...and i am on the verge of simple resignation to any ambition or direction...for the first time, i think the call really does "find you"...

and here i sit...wondering what this means...