advice given...

a few days before the ceremony of graduation, i had the chance to sit down with one of my favorite professors...as always, this professor says things to me that no one else says...i share of my hopes - and he negates them with reality...we talked of the shift in my sincerely idealistic worldview to my present ability to contemplate the reality of what truly is...

it's hard to take the reality side of life...my hopes soar the majority of time and i have lofty dreams of the future...with this being said, my professor knows this and sat quietly for a few moments...without flinching he uttered these words: "lower your expectations...significantly"...

i did not understand this at the time, but even a week later i understand the power of his advice...it is like biting into a cupcake only to discover it is filled with maggots...not what you expected - and definitely distasteful...

life has plenty of cupcakes...even ones that are not filled with maggots...but i wonder if i should always expect the maggots? then when the lush cream filling unexpectedly melts in my mouth, i revel in the serendipitous moment?

who knows...after the advice was given, i chuckled and said: "well, that was the sweetest thing i have ever heard"...today, maybe even yesterday - i know he was right...

HAPPY GRADUATION!!!

i'm obsessed...

once again...

i've found that when given one free week to write two papers -
i didn't realize how much you can get done by just not having class...

out of africa

these are some of my favs from africa...

good times

so, here are a few of my favorite things...

sure...

if you have ever seen 'i heart huckabees' - you know that jason s. (albert) is always responding with "sure..sure - sure..."

albert is the main character that is facing a series of coincidences that he believes to be something monumental in the scheme of life...he hires existential detectives to "solve" his case...while he is going through their philosophical quoibles and treatments that are pertinent to his case, there is one practice the detectives make albert do...

he has to get in a black body bag...as it is zipped up, albert is confronted with what is in his head...its called dismantling...all the frustrations, happiness, sadness its all there...i say all this to say that i am in serious need of dismantling...four times today i have entered the bag and unlike albert, who is getting knocked off by his enemies - i have taken the place of enemy...i am the aggressor...

i don't know why the last week of school people decide to say what they might have possibly been harboring for three years...things you once thought you understood are now - not making a lot of sense...this dismantling of the new situation - which is probably a manifestation of something old - will most likely consume my remaining days here at this institution...damn this is odd...i hate to think i am going to spend a majority of my time left here in an imaginary bag, dismantling so that i don't explode before the 25th...

oh well...sure...

oh yes - it is here...

today i have finished some of the last classes of my seminary career...i find myself listening with intent so that i can glean any last bit of brilliance that might come out of a professors mouth...otherwise, i find myself with a list of to dos larger than time permits for ample completion...

senior preaching - CE - SPM - MLK - acronyms that require many hours of thinking and reflection...i am still freaked out it is coming to a close...

so my greatest hope is that the freak out won't affect the completion...blessings to all as we complete what needs are ahead of us...as i sit and stare at my room - it is going to be hard to take it all down and pack away the 9,000 books acquired in the past three years...

i truly love this place...

one week down...

as the week has waned, the final week is waxing...i am excited yet anxious...deliberate in finishing work yet remorseful that these last assignments are it...relieved that the culmination of three years study is completed but depressed when i look at my room and all the crap i have to pack within the next two weeks...

note to self: send out announcements...

maybe the checklist will never go away...maybe the sheer reality that we live will always arouse a checklist day by day...it's just that this particular checklist seems monumental...final...in both good and bad ways...

terrorist watch list...

this was my favorite headline today...even though it caused me grief...

"Mandela on Terrorist Watch list in U.S." read here

remember when MLK was often labeled a "communist?" it seems that anyone who fights for equality against the white majority suffers ridiculous categorizing...no amount of labeling or name calling to those in power has quite the same effect as labeling king or mandela...for instance, let's label bush a dumb-ass...or terrorist...

see, it's just not quite the same...he still retains his power and control (only god knows why) while mandela has to get an approved visa to visit this country...i was appalled when i read once that cheney voted against mandela's release...seriously? oh mandela is very dangerous...unites country...leads against oppression and domination...the only ones who perceive this is dangerous are those who stand to lose something - like power...

maybe it's this side of history that makes me cringe so much...i wonder if the nightly news will do a story on this...besides - what will amercians say anyway...