sunday secrets...

one of my favorite parts of sunday is to check out the new postsecret entries...in which you can view today's by clicking here...makes you think....have a blessed day...

days you can't plan...

even if i wanted to, i could have never arranged the events that took place today with mary and i...she has taken to giving me bumper stickers and she gave me one today that says: "LOVE WINS"...it's awesome...

while putting it on my front windshield at the very top, i stood up in my seat to only find- and i am not kidding- 200,000 ants climbing all over my seat, feet, door, and floorboard...of course i cussed at bit...i tried to get as many as i could out, but ended up having to go to the car wash and vaccuum the critters out...that wasn't even enough...i then had to go to buy ant killer- which hurt- and had to lift my carpets and cause insect genocide...a few squirts and they were gone...while causing genocide, a homeless man inquired if i had the precise change of $4.25...of course i only have a 20...i was feeling guilt about the ants so i gave it all away...all of this happened within 53 minutes...

the rest of the day was spent riding around austin with the top down because i can personally testify that it was indeed a "perfect" day...maybe perfect days are days that you can't plan...i plan to test this hypothesis....peace...

700 miles...

without being a total skeptic, i must ask- "will 700 miles of concrete stop the human will to live and be in america?"

sometimes the arrogance of our country frightens me...it seems a bit paradoxical that a country which began as a new world for immigrants would now have progressed in thinking- at least theoretically- that mere concrete can stop those who are not citizens from entering the land...

it's actually strange to think that we have rounded up and placed the native americans in a particular place- the beautiful community of reservations...and now, we are once again using physical means to protect illegal occupation of the land...theologically? i am at a loss...for the moment, a bit anxiety ridden and saddened...mostly sad at the notion of our pride and measly attempt to "protect" america...i still haven't figured out what we need to be protected from...

i know...on a sliding scale, who would measure to be more will driven? 1) those in desperation, willing to risk death for the chance to make a bit of money for their families and help them- 2) or, those with great possessions and luxury trying to keep it from anyone undeserving...it could be a close race...

what do we have here that people want so badly?

this sounds familiar...

"As time went on , my parents' relationship became worse, not better. My father grew more hostile and remote, taking a particular liking to metallic objects with serrated edges. And my mother began to go crazy. Not the crazy in a let's paint the kitchen bright red! sort of way. But crazy in a gas oven, toothpaste sandwich, I am God sort of way. Gone were the days when she would stand on the deck lighting lemon-scented candles without having to eat the wax."
Running With Scissors by Burroughs


it's days like these that i thank God for books which are written by people that help me remember life through the lens of humor...david sedaris is the same way...while you are living it, it in no way remotely resembles humor...but as the years pass, the crisis event takes on a personality of its own...begging you to see how it shaped you...enticing you to remember that the event itself is the generous giver and molder of your twisted and depraved sense of humor...

another reason...

Heaven help the heart
That lets me inside
Heaven help the one
Who comes in my life
Heaven help the fool
That walks through my door
Cause I decided right now
I'm ready for love

l.kravitz

heaven...

so my proud achievements of the weekend:
*fixed two of my best friends up...this should be good...
*helped my goddaughter's parents move into their new house
*jammed relentlessly to stevie wonder (still am)
*still quitting the fags
*found more reasons to love lenny kravitz
*preached a semi-good sermon at the beach
*woke up thinking it was daylight savings time- :(

so it's the end of the fall break...i think i only have six more weeks of school left in this semester...um, i am behind...it's days like these that let me know the value of being alive...my deepest desire for you is that you find peace today...let the wind blow in your hair...drink some coffee...eat some hot tamales...meet a stranger...by all means, listen to stevie...he will help you get happy...

stunned...

today is a prime example of why i hate running errands...all week i have been trying to get small, little, busy work kind of things done...and i can tell you, it is 5 o'clock on friday and i don't think a one of them were brought to completion...what does this mean? it just means that next week is going to be off the charts...lovely...

i propose that everyone who reads this have an incredible fall weekend...things i would do if i were you would include:
*iced coffee at jp's
*finish novel laying on the table
*wash sheets
*wear a sweater while taking a leisurely walk
*find a reason to post a missed connection on craigslist

cheers everyone and peace to all....

ahhhhh...

here comes the rain again...BUT, this time it brought the classic fall temperature with it...(and there was much rejoicing...yeah...)

it's the kind of weather in which you lose track of time...you put on a slicker and walk to the coffee shop with friends...splashing your feet in the currents that run on the side of the street...the rustle of the tree limbs are comforting...there is a release of anxiety while the rain patters on the window...it fosters the hope of good sleep...

here's to a week of good weather...

too fast...

if i remember correctly, this week was to be set aside for rest and more rest...so far, i have evaded getting much rest done...sure, i have been taking my sweet time getting things done- but i would have loved not having a to-do list...they seem to always loom...

looked at doctoral schools today...i realized while looking at the greek i need to really get in gear...i need to get into the daily business of translation...i used to sing for at least three hours a day in undergrad...i am thinking this might be a similiar situation...maybe it falls under the heading of discipline- or something like that...

hope the break is going well for all...for all of you who had no break...i feel certain you didn't miss much...grace and peace...

fascination...

well, i am going to have to hand it to em and henry...they may not blog, but now i am interested in the craigslist phenomena...i have spent much time this week reading the 'missed connections'...i sense it to be a bit romantic- but then again, it could be slightly awkward and creepy...i also have a hunch that it feeds the narcissus gene...

i.e.-(title of post) MH-I guess you need to know...

"Better late than never I guess...I think I've loved you since the first time I layed eyes on you. But I was always afraid to tell you, for fear of rejection. But I would have given you the world if you would have taken it from me. Too late now, I guess. But if not, e-mail me through here.
-your buddy "

so, as you can see, i am indeed MH...seriously- how many qualifiers are there? :) i thought that blogging was somewhat with it...i guess i am waaaaay behind...if i would have known about this four weeks ago, i could have posted my coincidences....or could have written to the man on the bicycle on guadelupe...this gets tricky doesn't it?

well- this has been fun...my blood pressure is still high from seeing "jesus camp"....i couldn't possibly write about it right now...gotta process my fears and outrages...i bet you could link to the sage and find an interesting point of view!! sweet dreams all...

sabbatical insight....

"But what helped most of all was walking. I had been going up on Mount Tamalpais to walk and be quiet and pray nearly every morning for years. I started to do this because I had heard that Jesus did so, although my friend Father Tom recently clarified this. He said that we are not sure whether Jesus actually did this; people had to explain Jesus' absence by saying he was going up to the mountain to pray, but for all we know, he went off and had a few beers. Then he may have gone bowling, slinging the ball bitterly down the alley until he felt better." -anne lamott

i think i might take something like Jesus' alleged sabbatical...

on a lighter note...

i would like to quote jensen- post north korea news...

Jensen: "hey monica, did you know that jackie o willed her sunglasses
to kim jong il when she died?"

Monica: "really?" (silence)......(crickets chirping)....


(then multiple moments of hilaridy unfolded) :)

i can now run for president...

it has been an emotional few days...i have been bombarded with information of institutions that have been formed by the us government and are used to train men from third world countries for the sake of "peace keeping"... but in the end, these men are somehow coerced to carry out militia agendas...this agency is called the "school of the americas"....

when enough people became aware of what was going on and tried to legislate against this institution, the us said it would close down the "school"...well, it turns out that they just opened it under a new name...the human rights activists have renamed this school the "soa- school of assassins"...many innocent people are the victims of the men trained from this school- which in theory was formed to train men to protect thier country- which in turn leads someone who is trained in such a fashion to be bought, used, and forced to carry out the assasinations of people who are working for peace and justice...i.e.- oscar romero- el salvador

it's ridiculous isn't it? peace workers are often the victims...i actually think it's just plain wrong...hence my emotional dilemma of "what can i do?" for days now, i have clicked on my uk man's blog to find another wrong thing in north korea...it's such a silly question, but seriously, where's the love? when did human life become so invaluable?

i am sick of listening to a president that cannot finish one paragraph without using any of these words singularly- or in any unordered combination: evil, terrorists, axis of evil, evil, faith, evil...it seems to me that instead of claiming the u.s. as the victim, maybe we should take a closer look at what we are perpetuating with operations such as the soa...

today i am 35...i am offcially old enough to run for president...i wonder if there is anyway to legislate good will? value of human life? love of neighbor and self? i reckon not...this doesn't make a very good platform does it? or does it?

to all the people i know in my world and even outside my circle that strive to give, and love, liberate, forgive, work for reconciliation- simply try to make the world a better place- thank you...

whiner...

is it just me, or is anyone else butt tired? i think i could sleep for at least three days...

29 and holding...

as most of you know, this week, 29 years ago a creature was borne...he was not borne in swaddling clothes, nor lain in a manger...wasn't of virgin birth, or on the verge of escaping to another country to avoid being murdered by a ridonkulous* king...he didn't even have three shepherds that followed a star for three years only to show up at his mickey mouse birthday party (with which he shared with his twin sister)...the magi were absent as well- but who would give a 3 year old frankincense? seriously?

no, this creature was lowly though...and took on the form of a swimmer...by which means he one day grew up and met another swimmer in the form of a future wife...several years later, (last june), they discovered they were with child...hence, the cycle of humanity...

beautiful isn't it? so joe- happy 29th birthday...and happy 1st birthday of being a father...dude, i am crying right now...


*this term comes from katie...she's a fallstown girl...

I 35...

well, as i made my way down the infested interstate, i realized that i was one of approximately 10,000 people making my way back to the capitol of texas...tedious at times...but quick nonetheless...

i also have seen the evidence of traveling with the top off the jeep...if you were to see my face tonight, you could easily guess i was headed south...the western sunset has made its mark on my face...

on a different note, i have met several people lately who have left the protestant church and have gone orthodox...most of them being seminarians who encountered something in their studies, which in turn beckoned them to rethink history...and their place in it now...interesting...they like mary- bunches- and today i started thinking about what i might be missing in my protestant thinking...the quest begins...

i must issue sweet dreams again...it just feels good...

sooner... or later...

i am apparently one of the only persons left in the town of norman, oklahoma...everyone left to go eat fried snickers and ride a ferris wheel in dallas while the countdown to "the" game is getting smaller...this town is strange...it has one starbucks (dear God) and panera is one of the only places that offers wireless service with your breakfast...for the love- this is a college town!

all that aside- i happen to know that this is the hometown of God...she loves it so and i am trying to see it from her point of view...i wonder if she will be rooting for OU tomorrow? :)

i am visiting a friend, that is visiting with me inbetween him reading chapter upon chapter of Kant...seriously? i am visiting a friend who is getting a degree in philosophy in norman, oklahoma? it sounds paradoxical i know...but god love him, he is one of those guys who has a plan...

sweet dreams to all...you deserve one...

catch up...ketchup...cats up...

well, i have been in the big okc this week...i have missed:

*my sister's birthday

*grey's anatomy

*austin coffee shops

*the traffic traveling to dallas from austin for the UT/OU game...

with all that said, i was in a place this week where i contemplated questions like this:

you are leading a confirmation class session on worship. The following conversation occurs:

ho-ling: my favorite part of the service is communion...i wish we could do it more often

sam: i don't; it makes the service too long

lee: pastor, i don't understand why you go through that long prayer and break the bread and pour the juice.

outline and discuss the order for the celebration of the sacrament of the Lord's Supper, based on your knowledge of the Directory for Worship. Informed by your answer from above, respond to each of the members of the class....

beautiful isn't it?...thank God for batchelder...i would have slam dunked this essay...at least i think i would have...this, my friends, is what we have to look forward to in less than one year from now...my advice? start studying NOW...

i saw the OKC memorial last night...i cried...suddenly i was taken to the remembrance of all who have died due to bombs, whatever...there are still wreaths and flowers on the sidewalk lining the memorial...over 10 years ago...amazing how something so monumental becomes a faint memory...

hope you the reader are doing well...grace and peace to you this thursday night...