profile envy...

so, a post i read daily, sometimes multi-times daily, is the UK man...i wanted to check out the larger image of the nemesis picture posted in the view profile...i happened to see just how many people have clicked on his profile to which my amazement does not reveal a bit of information...

over 5,100 people have viewed his empty profile since september 2005...i want to go on the record and say that i have diagnosed myself with profile envy...i have been blogging since december, and i barely have 300 views...it could possibly be directly related to my not so interesting posts...

now, i do not know if i am suffering from some narcisistic syndrome- needing to know that people want to know about me, or if i just WANT the number to rise on the view profile...does anyone else suffer from this disorder? is there a hotline?

it's friday...

good people of the world, let the commencment of the weekend bring glad tidings and joy...as our beloved loverboy says, "everybody IS working for the weekend"....

roll the window down on the way home, let someone in on the freeway without difficulty, plan on making a phone call to a good friend, read one chapter of stienbeck's east of eden, shake up a dirty martini with 4 olives, and heave a big sigh, for this is a good day...

one time...

no, it was not at debate camp...tim...

one time, i ate playdough
one time, i played in a piano competition and won
one time, i fell off my bike and pursued roller skating instead
one time, i glued pennies to the mural for our play in 5th grade
one time, i received "licks" from my coaches in jr. high for failing math
one time, i had a jean jacket that had buttons pinned all over it
one time, i met a boy at student council camp that i wanted to marry
one time, i conducted a marching band that won 7th in the state of texas
one time, i skied down rockin robin (double black) under the lift and kissed a tree
one time, i dated a freshman when i was a senior
one time, i spent the summer of 91 in a state park in rogersville, alabama
one time, i became acqainted with the best mentor you could have
one time, i thought i might be a doctor
one time, i sang in carnegie hall
one time, i met my best friend (15 years ago)
one time, i taught preschool children music
one time, i was homecoming queen at my college
one time, i sang at a regional NATS and won
one time, i went to europe and bought a pair of awesome clogs in vienna
one time, i got married
one time, i got divorced
one time, i managed a GAP
one time, i played sand volleyball for 30 nights in a row
one time, i travelled over 7,000 miles in one summer (it was really 4 times)
one time, i wrote a short story that made me cry
one time, i read a book named the alchemist
one time, i realized that coffee might solve a plethera of problems
one time, i rode a horse through the mountains of wyoming
one time, i watched amelie and wanted a picture book
one time, i opened my closet and decided i needed to do laundry
one time, i spent the entire day listening to the rain
one time, i met a dog named rooka
one time, i beat my friend mark in H-O-R-S-E
one time, i wore a banana clip
one time, i realized there really is goodness in the world

underdog is up...again...

i write to you on the eve of two special events...

1- at approximately 1100, i enter the race for student government president...i was nominated in the token underdog ticket...anyone who knows me, knows my passion for underdogs...i am humbled to even be considered for a couple of reasons- i feel a discernable loyalty to my running mates...one has been the dearest of friends, and one has tutored and mentored me through the trecherous language of hebrew...the other is a current fellow senate mate and i highly esteem all of them with the deepest sincerity...BUT, you could consider my present spirit to reflect the members of the George Mason University basketball team...seeded 11 in the tourney, they have eliminated the top of the top...they made it to the final four...all because no one told them they couldn't be there...i am currently the 11 seed in the midst of the final four...i am just glad to be here...

2- at approximately 2000, i will be giddy with glee as i watch my favorite band sing to me the melodies that have permeated my world for several months now...for those of you who have been eager to watch the dating game, there have been a few debacles...so my experiment didn't go as well as i had conceived...thanks to my UK man for trying to hook a girl up...too bad you couldnt' be here yourself...good times would have been had...there are moments when i have thought to myself, "sister, just go ask so and so to go with you..." but truth be told, the chicken within is clucking hard...to grant's beard, i wish that i could envision something lasting- but i have some reservations about starting a relationship with an alterego...no offense...it's too late in the game for me to pursue this less travelled road...good luck to you though...i am glad i get to meet grant in a little over a week...i am anticipating some crazy fun...

so, to all of you who wake up today and think it might be an underdog day- go in confidence that you are not alone...let's embrace it together...

ps- joseph and shelly and em are going with me to death cab...they all make my world a better place...

hawks...

it is a gift to see nature working...we have two hawks that perch on the balcony of the student center...they are mating and just to see these beautiful creatures in action makes you giddy...it makes me think of doug and jerry and their view of hawks in the world...papps went and held his arm out today to see if they would land on it...sucker...

everyone is raising money...

i have the best friends- they are all active in doing good in the world...

em- is raising money to do a bicycle ride for AIDS...it is an annual ride, but this is the first time she has participated...i love her for this...her goal is $500...

ryan p- just got the word that he has been chosen as a delegate to represent PCUSA in Granada this summer for three weeks...i am so proud of him...he has to raise $300...

monica- is destined to head around europe for a few weeks this summer...she does not have a ceiling of money needed, but any contributions are welcome...her purpose? to walk the roads of history...write about it from the perspective of the clay county girl...

meredith- she needs a bicycle...she wants to ride to for charity causes- but her first endeavor is to ride the shiner tour...anything with beer at the conclusion, she is there...see her blog...

so some of us are on the road to doing good things...some are trying to get on the road to do good things...it all counts in my book...

no more titles with question marks...

it's time to make some informed statements...no more questions...

1- in dedication to my friend "nooner", i would like to pass on the wisdom of the weekend... "where there is mastery, there remains no mystery"

2- if i were schiermacher, these last few days have been indicitive of my realizing the feeling of absolute dependence...this fad is causing myself to want to live into my god-conscienceness...realization of my utter need to live into the wholeness of the Other is made possible by the person of christ and how he lived...


3- if i were tillich, these days were spent fighting my hubris...this state of estrangement in which i find myself can only make sense if i look to the new being...by being aware of my finitude and looking to the new being as a source of what my existence is all about...the ground of all being has made a way in which i can be like the new being...i must have the courage to be...living with and being for others...


4- if i were barth, it has been the answers given to me in which i find my questions revolving around...the Immanuel is constant...the humiliation of christ has happened for the exaltation of humanity...i am encountering the divine constantly only because of christ and his incarnation to the world... and what this means for myself is that God is with me in every moment...from the darkest to the brightest...always with and for me...


5- if i were wesley, the laws around me have revealed my sin...i have chosen to confess and look to christ not only as an example, but as to how i should live...that i can be and should be on a path in which moment by moment i am becoming more like the perfect christ...this battle is ongoing...it is a struggle...but because of my understanding of what christ has done for me, out of love and devotion i will as well be like christ...


i do not think this could count as the mid-term...but it has helped my feeble brain nonetheless...

fool me twice?

i always get this saying backward...once- shame on you...twice- i am a complete moron...

does this ever happen to you? truly, are we all that gullable? i would hope not, but then there is the state of our own existence that gets in the way... i would hope that with time i would learn...but what is time anyway? just a mere factor of life that perpetuates the inevitable...fooled...

i wonder what exactly makes us succeptible to being fooled? hope? desire? belief? possibly nothing more than experience...now this is a bit scary...

i promise, no more scary posts for a while...

did you see it?

apparently, 4 seconds is enough to change the outcome of any situation...i rest tonight in the knowledge that anything can happen...hope remains...

can we change God's mind?

this is the question of the day...many of my fellow newly-exposed theologians in which i sit in class with everyday are entertaining this thought...

seems like a big undertaking to me...

besides, if i had the chance to change God's mind, i would be God...or is there something in seeing all of creation in a pantheistic way...is there value there? if i thought of everything being God, whether it is or not, how does that affect my treatment of all things?

i want God to change suffering...i want God to change starvation...i want God to change racial prejudice...i want God to give the poor money...i want God to let west virginia win the 2006 final four tournament...

if i want it bad enough can it happen? in the trivial and monumental moments- what do i do now?

is it true?

is it possible that what we think are the answers are not even close to being valuable? are the foolish really wise? are the least really the greatest? seriously?

anyone with a flowchart on greatness via being the least, please send it to me...

ps-thursday night we begin the saga of watching the elite eight come into being- go WVA!! then, within seven days, i will be seeing death cab face to face...with an incredible date!!

pss- this is a shout out to my bro papps...you are one cool fool...

it's about freakin' time...

my friends- i know you have not missed me as much as i have missed thinking that you have missed me...the sbc/att merger has kept many of us in the dark for a few days...

i have had the greatest week of rejuvination...who wouldn't love this?

yes, that is me- that speck in the water...this might be right before my co-paddler and i decided to go for a swim- not voluntarily...

this is my co-paddler...caitlin...her family is my extended family and this was her first trip...i don't think i was a very good coach in the water- her main concern both times we went in were her 2 dollar flip flops...i lost this nice pink pullover...she kept her 2 dollar flip flops...

i would love to post more pictures, but this was my virgin post and i am very tired...either i am handicapped, or the gods of time are working against me...

ps- death cab is a week away tomorrow...derek, grant's beard, doug (from fallstown) are all in the running for being my date... the countdown is on..

ahhh...i feel much better...

well, the seven day divorce of all technology has been good...i have pictures to post of the trip, maybe tonight- to show you where i went and who i went with...sunny days- 75-80 degrees...stormy nights- lightning, loud thunder, and long rains on the tin roof...can i say perfect? i told my tripmates that this is proof that God loves me...i could not have asked for a better vacation...

i miss all of you and am reading up on blogs the rest of the day...hope your break has been refreshing...i still have one big party on friday at the pub to make it through- last night my sister came in from wyoming and i was very close to entering into my first ever, real, honest to god fight!! not with my sister, but another woman...i am 34 and i almost ended my clean fighting record...i don't believe in standing there and letting someone insult you or the people you love...papps, you would have been so proud of me...it has inspired me to take on a new work out regime...screw the triathalon...i am going into professional boxing...

love to all today...

erratic ideology

on the eve of the greatest feat ever to take place in the history of my academic life, i sense a bit of unsettledness...the task of defining history's understanding of themselves is a tad daunting...the task of defining my own understanding of my own self in relation to others and also to the divine is hard enough...or is it?

all i know is that tomorrow, i will hop in the jeep, post exam, sans stress- and drive, top down to the top of texas so that i can hop in a van and head to the great outdoors of arkansas...canoeing my friends- down the buffalo...i might think of you- probably will...you all mean so much to me...i have even found this new liking to people i have never met- only through the blogging business...these people bring a nice perspective into my sometimes regimented, heady world...

so i bid all of you farewell for a few days...may the grace of God break into your realm of the world...in remembrance of schliermacher- ourfeetarethesame...

HELP- (cue beatles song...)

i am going under....it's a good day and my UKman informed me that it's national women's day somewhere...i am claiming it for myself today...i need something to hang on to....schoolwork is taking me down...

when duke loses, i win!

i have often been accused of not being a true sports fan- mainly because i don't have a favorite player, or team for that matter...just because i don't have posters of sport heros plastered on my wall, or have an inordinate amount of useless sports trivia memorized doesn't make me 'not count' as a fan...i simply enjoy watching the manuevering of the sport...team sports are my favorite- namely basketball and volleyball...when march madness hits, it is welcome in my world mostly due to the fact that i long for that dominant team in the east- duke university to go down...

i like to root underdog...it's a part of my blood...for ages now, duke has never been on any underdog list, so naturally they evolved into a team that i like to see lose- which i admit, is not very often...which brings me to my next subject- betting against duke...

this past saturday, i had the luxury of watching the duke vs. unc game on a huge screen in a lovley pub located in north austin...it just so happened that a lovely man had accompanied me there...he personally likes duke which is the truth for most basketball fans and i began the diatribe of my underdog theology...turns out, we made a meager wager and for underdog rooters- the one and only rule is: the wager should always push the envelope...

of course i won...and i like rooting/betting with people who actually pay up...this very well may have been one of my better wagers...my lovely friend was a good sport and just think- we have three more weeks of good, wholesome underdog rooting...

25 days

well, as you can very well see for yourself in the comment section of the last post- the competition for the ticket has began between one of my dearest, hottest friends- and a beard that lives in california...my friend has identified himself as anonymous, so i don't really know if we can really count him- and seeing how the beard lives vicariously through a man named grant- it's difficult at this point to say i have any qualifiable candidates for the concert...i am counting on the 25 days left to open up the competition a bit...

now, i realize that if you are interested in entering this amusing game there are some things that you might want to know about me...so i have decided to work on giving you a better picture...call this vulnerability for death cab's sake...

monica's bio: 30+ female...native texan...relatively intellegent...background in music...currently in grad school- emphasis in the religious, bibilical, theological, cultural, and linguistical practice of christianity...personality ENFP...the perfect day includes 80 degree weather, a good morning run, a visit to sno-beach, great conversation- with a bit of it dedicated to the meaning of life, and the resolve to take the surprises of the day with a dash of humor and contemplation...basically, i want to impact the world...with love...

i'm tired...hope your weekend rocks...

27 days...

well, i have decided that i might need the help of my blogger community to get this goal accomplished...

i have TWO tickets for DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE on MARCH 29 in

AUSTIN, TEXAS...

i need a date...

so this is my proposal- i am currently seeking a male, sorry females, to accompany me on this most beautiful event...i would like for this event to be fun and non-stressful...

for my community: if you know anyone, or think of someone that might be interested, send them this blogsite and have them contact me...i am wondering how well this might go- and it might be one of the most fun things i have ever attempted to do...austin is a big place...there has got to be ONE person who might be interested...let me rephrase that...one person that i would like to go with me...there, that's better...

i reserve the right to veto anyone who contacts me- i also reserve the right to cancel this land of fun at any time- it's only 27 days away- it cannot be that hard- i would like to go on the record as saying this is the craziest thing i have ever done...i reserve the right to come back and reserve any right i cannot foresee at this moment...yeah for death cab....

boil it down, would ya?

sometimes, you just want to say these words with new words...this is my attempt...in case my friend cherri wants to know...


theodicy- short word for suffering sucks and who is responsible for it?

prolegomena- a big name for learning the rules before you play the game

predestination- a prefix/root/suffix that add up to mean there are no accidents
* which makes dealing with the term theodicy that much more difficult

existential- thinking that revolves around, "i soooo did not ask to be here- now what?"

devil- see satan. flipping pages....see beelzebub. flipping pages....see devil. flipping pa...what? so i can't boil this one down...sorry...

imputation- this happens when someone becomes something that they really were not by means of judgment- biblically, humans are IMPUTED with righteousness...in grey's, meredith was IMPUTED with whoredom...seriously...flawed as she may be- nobody puts george in a corner like that...

universalism- people nowadays like to point out we either are going to heaven or going to hell...this term trumps these folks and makes a happy ending (heaven) for all of humanity- YIPEE!!

hermenuetics- this is one of my favorite words to say...go ahead, say it- her/muh/new/tiks...so much fun...who cares what it means...just kidding- it's how you interpret things..."what hermenuetical lens is being used here?"....cue cricket chirping..........um...mine is sarcasm right now, but i'll let you view through your own lens...

this is so much more fun than reading...